Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
do herpes really smell.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
