shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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