I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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