i think my mom watched the whole time
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
