Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
