Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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