If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
