someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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