i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
