If that was your dad, he is hot
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
