mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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