I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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