I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
