Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize