All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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