she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
