He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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