I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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