What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
