Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
