Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
