Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
