If i come over, it means nothing
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
