He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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