summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize