I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
