kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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