I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize