so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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