Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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