I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
