white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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