I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
