I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
