Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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