My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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