i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
