wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
