One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
