We named our party play list daddy issues
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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