The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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