Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
please come you make the beer taste better
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
