from now on my penis is your penis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
