No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
