He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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