your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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