The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
