New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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