I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
