Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
