I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
