I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
