No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Someone shattered a urinal.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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