Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
