google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
