I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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