She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
