Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
