I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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