i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
