The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
one might say we're banned from that church
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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