Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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