we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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