why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
