yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
