I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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