Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
