butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
