DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
