She's JV to your varsity
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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