So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
